Finding a Silver Lining The Buddhist Way

February 13, 2013 at 1:09 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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Over the last few weeks, after watching the documentary The Buddha: The Story of Siddhartha, I have been inclined to act more like Buddha. Why? Because as an agnostic person whose main gospel is music, Buddhism has been the sole religion that as an adult I can actually connect with. And also, because the Buddha inspires me.

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Who wouldn’t want to act like someone who inspires them? But to be more specific, I am trying to act more like Buddha because I want to be ok with just being. Me. Ashley. And that’s it.

Let me tell you…this is the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do. Just being has brought about some heightened anxiety. Is it truly impossible that me, a 29 year-old on the cusp of 30 cannot just be? Why can’t I just sit in my living room and just be. Why am I constantly bothered by what I am not. Why am I bothered that I am not a mother, or a lover, or the next great music composer? Why do humans yearn for things? Buddha knew that by yearning, the act of it, is what brought on sadness.

I am tired of being sad. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to cry…but being sad is for people who WANT things. The only thing I want this year is to not WANT but just be…me. If I can attain that, I will have found my silver lining.

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